Sun is shinin'

So, I've managed a week of my Scottish man being in another country. It's quite hard to believe that it's been a whole week, but it seems everyone was right and the time he's away will go really quickly.

  Today I've spent a lot of time sitting in the sun, just enjoying the unusual sensation of being warm in Scotland. We've actually had quite a few good days over the last week, and I've been making the most of it. I still find it fascinating to watch my skin change colour when it gets some sunlight, probably just because it doesn't happen all that often. I can only really watch the process on my arms though; I am now absolutely convinced that my legs no longer have the ability to tan. I've worn dresses and skirts and cropped trousers, my legs probably haven't seen this much daylight since primary school, and still I look like the bottom half of my body belongs to someone else. Oh well, spray tan it is! 

  This week I've started going to the gym again, and I wonder why I ever stopped. I was in there for an hour and because of that I've felt good about myself all day. That's a pretty good input:outcome ratio. I'm also going to Boteco for salsa tonight so we'll see how well I cope with two lots of exercise in one day. I think I'll be fine, just because salsa is much more fun than the gym.

  Still no news on the job front, so I'd better go and get on with this application that I've been staring at for two days. 

xXx

Salsa people are good people

I've moved in with my friend from salsa. Right now I'm sitting in the kitchen with her and the guy who helped me move all my luggage over here, we're eating strawberries and Haagen Dazs ice cream and listening to random old songs on youtube. It's my second day here and I already feel ten times more at home than I ever did in my old place. I'm so gutted I can only stay til salsa friend's flatmate comes back, I would love so much to stay here forever. 

  So, it's American Independence day today and I spent the earlier part of the afternoon eating burgers with some of the Americans from the creative writing course. It was fun, but the jabs at me being English made me miss my Scottish man quite badly. He's been away for three days now and I seem to be coping okay, but then he has called me at least twice every one of those days. I don't want to think how much that must be costing him, but I seriously doubt he can keep it up for the whole month. It seems very likely that I will not cope so well when the day comes that he can't call me at all. 

  Today I read the worst written book I have ever seen. It was so bad it was almost painful, but at the same time it's kind of encouraging because if that rubbish can get published then I've got absolutely nothing to worry about! I mean there were huge chunks of it with just random words italicised, and the number of missing fullstops was phenomenal. It was a good lesson in how never EVER to write. It's going to the charity shop tomorrow, although I feel a bit guilty about inflicting it on someone else.

xXx

News

Turns out the job advert lied and it was actually for a door-to-door salesperson. Sack that for a laugh. So, sadly, I am still jobless. Also, I can't apply for jobseekers allowance because my student loans cover everything. Somebody louder than me needs to tell the Job Centre that you can't get student loans for a masters coz they didn't listen when I said it. Oh well, back to the job hunt I go. 

However, even if I don't manage to get a job in the next 10 days, all may not be lost. I have a friend at salsa who says she would have no problem letting me stay with her. Now I didn't definitely commit so I don't have any details like whether she would expect me to pay rent and things like that. But still it's a possibility and little ray of hope at the end of what has been a pretty rubbish day. I'm hopefully going to see her tomorrow so I can check it out properly.

Oh, one highlight of the day: I was walking home when I heard this voice say, "Scuze me, can you help me?" This woman was hanging out the window of a ground floor flat, waving to get my attention. She had been locked in the flat but the parking ticket on her car was about to run out and she wanted to know if I would help. She threw out (very trustingly, I think) some money wrapped in a bit of paper and I bought her a ticket and stuck it under the windscreen wipers. It made me feel slightly better to have helped someone, and made me grin every time I thought about how random it must have looked to anyone walking by. This city is many, many things, but never boring.

xXx

Times are changing

Finally I have some news to report in the job-hunting area. Nothing major yet, but I do have my first ever Scottish interview booked. It's for a Summer job so even if I get it I'll still have to keep looking, but as long as I get to stay in Glasgow (and I would comfortably be able to with this job) then I really don't mind.

Thing is, I'm shaky with nerves already and the interview's not til Monday, so I'm a wee bit worried that I'll blow it just by looking too much like a rabbit caught in headlights. Time to Google 'how to stay calm at interviews' I think.

My other news is not so happy. In two weeks my Scottish man is going to Florence for a month because he's a genius artist, which I could deal with coz a month is nothing compared to the time I spent in Sweden. The sad part is that now he tells me he may not be coming back.  There will be an exhibition at the end of the month and if someone likes his work they could sign him up to stay there and paint for them. Having heard the way he talks about his hometown I have no doubt that he would say yes immediately, and having seen his work I have no doubt that somebody will ask him. So I have 15 days, and then I might never see him again. 

It's hard to think about it, so I'm trying really hard not to. Lets hope I get the job so it can keep my mind occupied.
xXx

Poverty

I think I've had a brief glimpse of how Africa must feel when they look at the UK and America. 

There's me (Africa) eating toast for dinner, for the tenth day running, and dreaming of vegetables because I can't remember the last time I could afford to buy any. Then there's my landlady (UK+US) with so much food she can't physically eat it all and just leaves it stacked up in the fridge, rotting. It would be so easy for her to say, "I can't manage all of this, why don't you have some?" but she doesn't.  

They must be so cross with us.

On the plus side, this level of skint-ness is making me really look at how wasteful I am. I know that several times in my life I've bought too much food and let at least half of it just go off. I particularly remember looking at a bunch of bananas that had started to get brown spots on them and thinking 'I could make banana bread with those', then leaving them until they turned black and became completely inedible. If time travel were possible I would go back there and shake me, and tell her how much I would give to have a few bananas right now.  This feels like the kind of lesson that's gonna stay with me for the rest of my life; I guess that's at least one of the reasons for my being so poor right now.

In other news: I've worked out how to turn the heating on in the flat. 'Ecstatic' doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this.

xXx

If I get a job.

My entire life seems to be resting on this sentence.  I can stay in Glasgow if I get a job. I can bring my car up if I get a job. I'll be able to buy my own drinks and stop feeling guilty about scrounging off my boyfriend if I get a job. I'll be able to stay with my boyfriend if I get a job. And have my hair cut, and take the subway into town instead of walking for 45 minutes, and buy proper food, and start swing dance lessons, and get boots that won't wear through in two weeks, and stop worrying until I give myself heartburn.

I now have a grand total of £15 to last me til the 1st of July. I haven't yet built up the courage to work out how much that is per day.  The really worrying thing is that now my choice is between having food and going to salsa, and I think I know which one's going to win.

Trying not to panic

I'm back in Glasgow again. Didn't get the clerical assistant job, things still good with my Scottish man, two assignments due in 62 hours. Proper update to follow when they're handed in.

xXx