Updatage

I was right not to panic; now, instead of my friend, I have my favourite salsa teacher as a flatmate! It turns out he's also extremely good at hugs, which is a great advantage considering the state of things at the moment. 

Yeah I was going to write about everything that sucks right now, but I just don't want to. Anyway, I have a proof-reading enterprise to set up.

xXx

Looking up.

Finally I'm taking some steps in the right direction. i.e. back to Glasgow. On Thursday I'm starting a job, call centre again but not selling anything so hopefully I can suck it up and deal with the few cross people on the other end of the phone. Actually I have to, because the other news is that I'm moving back into a flat in the West End!  I can't wait to get back where I belong. 

 Although I'm a wee bit cross; my friend has been saying for months that I need to get a 2 bedroom flat so she can move in with me, and now that I've got one she's decided she's not that desperate to move after all. At the moment I can't afford this place on my own, but I've decided to trust that God wouldn't get me back to Glasgow just to be kicked out for lack of funds a month later. If this is a test of faith I'm going to pass with flying colours. 

I just can't wait to be back!

xXx

Things to sort list

1. Call tax office to get back the money they over-charged me.

2. Call insurers to get back the money they over-charged me.

3. Call agency to get the money they didn't pay me.

4. Call old insurance to get proof of no claims.

5. Find paper part of driving licence, otherwise points 2 and 4 won't work.

6. Print train ticket so I can go back to Scotland.

7. Fill in all pending 'why should we give you this job?' sections on job applications.

8. Attempt not to have some kind of breakdown.

Up to date?

It's a good thing these aren't real stepping stones; I'd need some kind of glider to go over everything I've missed. To cut a 3 month story short - my graduation was amazing, my aunt kicked me out on my graduation day, I loved working at the Post Office but they didn't keep me on, I'm now staying about 20 miles from Glasgow with a friend's parents, and I'm back on Jobseekers.

And on to the next step, which is that I have (despite a concrete belief that I never would again) found myself a new boyfriend. I met him at the PO, he offered me a lift home, I worked up the courage to give him my number, and it all went from there. He's a wee bit younger than me, but he's the oldest child of his family so more mature than the last younger guy I went for. Plus he has his own car, which helps :p

We've only been together a couple of weeks and already I've learned something about myself: I'm colour blind. Because when I describe him to people, it never occurs to me to mention that he's black.

The colour of someone's skin has never been a Thing to me, so the reaction from some of my friends has surprised me. I've had texts like,

'What do your Mum and Dad think about him being black? Not that I'm saying he is black. Not that there's anything wrong if he is'. 

I don't understand why people tie themselves in such knots about it. Mum and Dad have expressed no opinion on the matter, they're just happy that I'm happy.  

I'm not saying my friends are racist. I've had none of the 'stick to your own kind' type of messages. I just find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that some people can see it as such an issue. 

Although I guess it is kind of a surprise when you consider that I moved up here in the hope of grabbing myself a nice Scottish man!

xXx

Misread

I walked past a sign on a billboard. I read it as 'People Are Evil', when I got closer I saw that it actually said 'Pierce The Veil'. My cynical side appears to be taking over.

xXx

Awkward turtle ahoy

A couple of nights ago I had a conversation that ended up being an exercise in the many different forms of social awkwardness. After a long day walking round in the wind and rain I was heading for my train home when I saw one of my friends and my Scottish ex coming towards me. Let's count the different awkwards:

1)  I stopped to talk to my friend, but she was obviously planning to just say 'hi' and walk past me.

2)  I said hi to the ex's chest, being completely unable to look him in the eye.

3) After that I was unable to look at him at all despite being intensely aware of him standing next to me.

4) I got mixed up explaining my new living situation to my friend and sounded like my brain had fallen out.

5) At this point I realised that my hair was everywhere, I had bags under my eyes and random stains on my trainers.

6) The ever-present problem of not knowing how to say bye to people without it being horribly awkward.

So that was an interesting end to the day. 

It was a good day before that though. Mum and Grandma came up to visit me and on the way Mum sent me a text saying that she had a surprise for me. I can't just leave things like that alone so I spent the morning thinking what she could have brought me; my best guess was a potential graduation dress. Turns out it was my brother! He's the last of my immediate family to come and visit me up here so it was really good to see him and show him round Glasgow. I was a bit disappointed with the weather, and the fact that Bute Hall was locked for the first time I've ever seen, but it was so good to see them and get some hugs.

In other news, I have a Christmas job at the post office. Hopefully things will turn out as they did for Dad and they'll offer me a permanent job so I can live off that until I can find something that doesn't involve shifts but does involve lots of paper. Yay for admin.

xXx

Crossroads

First, an update. I left my job after 9 days work because I wasn't going to be paid thanks to a complete lack of sales pitches. My Scottish man said no so I am once again single. The flatmate didn't get chance to kick me out; the landlady has already done it.

 I have to be out of the flat by this time next week, and this is where I reach the crossroads. I could scramble around trying to find someone else who will let me stay for very little/no money until I can get a job, then find somewhere proper to live and finally start to feel like I properly live in Glasgow. Or I could go back to Crewe. 

 I know I've mentioned this so frequently even I'm starting to get bored of it, but it was always in an 'oh no, not leaving Glasgow!?!' kind of way. Now it's different. I still don't particularly want to leave, but the thought of continuing this constant fight to stay here makes me feel so, so tired.

 Maybe it's time to admit that I'm not meant to be here, and just go home.

xXx