Onesie McSingleton

Having been off for a week and a half, I am really, really struggling to get back into my job. To be completely honest I hate it.

On the plus side I went ahead and applied for the £10,000 MMU short story competition. I hold out absolutely no hope that I could win; I did my degree there and I know they will choose a story that is weird for weird's sake. But still I feel like more of a real writer just because I've actually tried.

In other news, not sure if it's good or bad, I've had a sort of idea for a children's story. And I mean children children, like the tiger who came to tea level. 

I don't even like children, never mind think about writing for them. But then I was wallowing in my new single life and updated my status with 'Onesie McSingleton is going to Arta tonight'. Onesie McSingleton. I love the rhythm of it and that must be why it got stuck in my head, repeating over and over until I started to wonder what kind of person would be called Onesie McSingleton.

He's a wee boy in a tartan onesie, who's favourite phrase is "I can do it all by myself". There's also a girl called Tutu (I can't decide on her surname though), and another male character as yet unnamed.

It's strange to be thinking at this level, but at the same time it's nice to know my idea cylinders are still firing.

Why I dislike my job #1

New Acquaintance 1: So what do you do for a living?

New Acquaintance 2: I work for a charity. We help people with disabilities get back into work. 
*cue half-hour long monologue about how horrendously difficult but terribly rewarding her job is* 
NA2: What do you do?

NA1: I'm an Occupational Therapist in a hospital. I deal mostly with terminally ill patients and those with addictions.

NA2: Wow, that must be so tough.

NA1: Well yes but it's worth it, you know? Seeing the changes in people as you get to know them better. And what do you do?

Me: I do admin....in a call centre.

NA1: Oh. Right.

*awkward silence*

Sparked

Well, it worked. Creating those characters seems to have given my writing mind a kick up the backside and now I can't stop. Yesterday I wrote a whole story, start to finish, for the first time in months. It's rubbish but at least I wrote it! Now to begin editing.

I may have more time for writing after today, as this afternoon I have a meeting in which I will find out if I'm being made redundant. Obviously I'd like to keep my job because I need money to live. But at the same time the thought of not having to cram my writing into the evenings is quite appealing.

We'll see what happens.

Up to date?

It's a good thing these aren't real stepping stones; I'd need some kind of glider to go over everything I've missed. To cut a 3 month story short - my graduation was amazing, my aunt kicked me out on my graduation day, I loved working at the Post Office but they didn't keep me on, I'm now staying about 20 miles from Glasgow with a friend's parents, and I'm back on Jobseekers.

And on to the next step, which is that I have (despite a concrete belief that I never would again) found myself a new boyfriend. I met him at the PO, he offered me a lift home, I worked up the courage to give him my number, and it all went from there. He's a wee bit younger than me, but he's the oldest child of his family so more mature than the last younger guy I went for. Plus he has his own car, which helps :p

We've only been together a couple of weeks and already I've learned something about myself: I'm colour blind. Because when I describe him to people, it never occurs to me to mention that he's black.

The colour of someone's skin has never been a Thing to me, so the reaction from some of my friends has surprised me. I've had texts like,

'What do your Mum and Dad think about him being black? Not that I'm saying he is black. Not that there's anything wrong if he is'. 

I don't understand why people tie themselves in such knots about it. Mum and Dad have expressed no opinion on the matter, they're just happy that I'm happy.  

I'm not saying my friends are racist. I've had none of the 'stick to your own kind' type of messages. I just find it hard to wrap my head around the fact that some people can see it as such an issue. 

Although I guess it is kind of a surprise when you consider that I moved up here in the hope of grabbing myself a nice Scottish man!

xXx

Count your blessings

In an attempt to stop myself going emo again and ending up a depressed wreck, I've decided I'm going to start living my life positively. This is a complete overhaul for me so I'm starting off small. For example today I'm focusing on the fact that on the way to and from work the subway train turned up just as I got onto the platform, and that I was one of only three people in my shift who managed to get a bite. I also have 2 sales this week so will be paid at least £100. All good things.

I've no idea how this will hold up the next time something bad happens, but for now it's working brilliantly.

xXx