Another parody

It's time for another installment of Hannah's Parodies! This is a piece inspired by James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.

The stones are cold on my legs and I wish I didn't have to wear a skirt. Mummy says skirts are like ladies so I have to wear one so I will be a lady when I grow up. I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. Alex says girls aren't allowed to be astronauts because they're stupid, but he never gets his spelling right and I always get it all right so I think he' stupid.

My front is warm because it's sunny. You're not supposed to look at the sun so I look at a cloud that is next to it. It's very bright and makes my eyes hurt so they cry a bit.

 "Crybaby." Victoria Manning stands in front of me, She is taller than me but shorter than Sarah and I don't like her because she calls me names. "What are you crying for, Mrs Blobby?" She stands close and now I can' t see the sun and everything is green. I want to make our room green, I want to paint it myself but Sarah says she doesn't like it. I know she likes green because she always takes green first when we do colouring and won't let me have it for ages. "Hey fatty, is your Mum older than your Dad?"

 Yes, Mummy is older than Daddy, but not as old as Gramps. Gramps is a hundred years old. Gramps showed me how to box and I would like to box Victoria Manning but it's not nice to hit girls. So I won't say anything. Mummy says it's rude to ignore people but I don't have to talk to Victoia Manning because she's not my friend. 

 Sarah comes on the playground and sees me. She comes to stand next to me and crosses her arms. Now both of them are blocking the sun and my front is cold as well as my legs.  "What do you want, Victoria?" She says.

"Your Dad's going to prison 'cause your Mum's older than him."

I start crying. Proper crying, not looking at the sun crying, and Victoria Manning laughs at me. "Crybaby!" She shouts and I wish I could box her. 

 Sarah pushes her shoulder and shouts back at her "Leave her alone, fatty." You shouldn't call people names but she deserves that because that's what she called me. 

 "I'm not fat." 

 Sarah pushes her shoulder again. "You're fatter than me." She is fatter than Sarah. It's not name calling if it's true.

"Yeah well your Dad's going to prison!" she shouts very loud because her mouth is so big. She is starting to cry and she runs away.

 Sarah sits next to me and I can see the sun again and I start to get warm. She gives me a tissue but I'm not crying now. It was funny when she called Victoria Manning fatty.  "I don't want Daddy to go to prison." I wonder who will pick us up from school if Daddy is arrested.

xXx