I see now

I figured it out! The whole spelling issue.  I am phenomenal at spelling, and I've always been quite proud of this. But deep down I really truly believe that I'm stupid. So if I'm stupid and I can spell words correctly just by hearing them, what does that make someone who can't spell? 

 Still no idea if this makes me a snob, but at least I understand it now.

 It's been an amazing night. Went out with the creative writers as usual (which I'm REALLY going to miss when this course is over) and I spoke to a lot of people that are usually away on the other end of the table. It was good but I think I may have offended one of the American guys by saying I don't like his accent and that Americans can't spell. I feel sorry for that now. I mean they weren't at the same time, there was quite a gap between the two so at the time it didn't feel like I was attacking his American-ness. But now I'm worried in case that's how he saw it. I'll apologise next time I see him.

 But anyways it was amazing because I realised that there are about as many different reasons to write as there are writers. I write to escape from reality, because quite a lot of the time reality sucks. That's why I don't like novels that keep you hanging and leave it up to the reader to decide what happens - I have enough of that in real life, I want clear cut endings to my books!  But it had never ever occurred to me that some people don't write for that reason. It sounds stupid but the thought has just never crossed my mind before. Even when everyone was telling me why they write I couldn't quite get my head round it. I couldn't imagine being motivated to write by the things that motivate them.

  I'm still struggling a bit with Dan, who writes 'non-happily ever after's because they don't happen in life. It's the exact opposite of why I write and it's just boggling my brain to think about it. Or maybe that's the strawberry pear cider...

xXx