Sad times

I think I talk about salsa too much. But I can't help it; I am so completely in love with it. I remember a time in small group at church when the ice breaker was for everyone to learn a simple Hebrew dance, and my instant reaction, said in my most scathing tone,  was "I don't dance." My word, was I wrong.

The title's a bit misleading. A lot of yesterday was actually really good times. In the beginner class all the female instructors were needed as men so the sexy Scottish instructor used me to demonstrate all the moves. ALL of them. And that meant that when everyone else switched partners, I got to stay with sexy Scottish instructor. It was awesome.  When I finally did move on, one of the female instructors was like 'why are you still doing the beginner's class??' (which I'm taking to mean I was dancing really well :p ). I told her it's because I get to dance for another couple of hours and she said I should come along next time they all go to a salsa club.  If I ever actually do I think it'll be one of the most intimidating groups I've ever been in. They're all so good sometimes it terrifies me in case I muck up and they never want to dance with me again. 

 The sad times came at the end of the class. We moved on to bachata (which can be a LOT sexier than salsa) for the last part of the beginner class. Now, normally we dance bachata a bit apart from our partners, almost like ballroom dancing. But for some reason yesterday everyone was a bit more in each other's personal space. Then it got to my turn with sexy Scottish instructor. He put his hand on my back and pulled me in til our bodies were touching, I put my head on his shoulder, and he took my hand. And then the music stopped.  

It still makes me laugh just how disappointed I was. It's probably a good job I was under his chin and he couldn't see me; my face must have been a picture! Oh well. Maybe next week.

In other news, one of my friends will shortly be a new mummy. Well, I say shortly. Her waters broke early yesterday morning and then not much else happened. I think I remember hearing that first babies usually take their time, so I suppose it could still be a while yet. But I hope not. First of all because I imagine labour's pretty rubbish so long = bad, but also because I'm so desperately excited to see him or her. I can't wait!

xXx

Give me a job!

So, I have a ginormous number of CVs all printed off and ready to go, and the plan for the next two days is to wander up and down the three main streets of Glasgow and hand them in at any shop I think I could possibly work in. Whether they're looking for new staff or not.  Because as things stand I only have enough money to stay here until March.

Technically I could move back home at the start of April because all the teaching for my course will have finished by the end of March. But I don't want to. I've got salsa here, and the gym for £40 per year instead of per month, and S'mug and Starbucks, and tall, yellow-gold buildings, and Hogwarts, and a cinema with armchairs instead of aeroplane seats, and a library with 12 floors, several libraries in fact, and the quiet, and a million little things that I don't want to get used to living without. I mean, even the six flights of stairs up to the flat make me feel good about myself, because that sure as heck has to count as a huge chunk of my daily exercise.

I know that I'm supposed to be here because every single time I've almost run out of money, some more has showed up out of nowhere. But then I think what if I'm only supposed to be here for the duration of the course, and when it ends I'll 'supposed to be' somewhere else. Like Crewe. I'm really starting to feel like I could stay here forever. And how will I find my ginger Scotsman if I have to go home??

xXx

So much to consider

First, I cannot believe how much I missed salsa! The music started and everyone was moving and I felt such a release. It was almost physical, like I'd been holding my breath too long.

Second, I think I'm a little bit in love with the Scottish instructor.

Third, there must be something seriously wrong with me. Yesterday I went for coffee with my American twin; a process that can easily eat two or three hours without either of us noticing. But it got to an hour and something started to feel wrong about my side of the conversation. I realised it was the fact that I couldn't work out the appropriate facial expressions in response to what American twin was saying. In one hour I had managed to completely wear out my sociableness.

And tonight I was sitting waiting for someone to ask me to dance, and one of the female instructors was sitting kind of in front of me but to the side. I saw her looking at me, and I knew that I should say something, even if it didn't turn into a whole conversation, just to be polite. But I stared past her and watched everyone dancing. Not one single word. And then I had a big 'woe is me' moment on the way home because I couldn't work out why everyone at salsa seemed to be bestest friends apart from me!

Can't be bothered counting any more. I have a heck of a lot of weight to lose. There are moments (far too frequently) where I just feel like a beached whale.

I want someone to dance bachata with.

In the beginner's class they asked me to do the male part as there were so many women there. It took an incredibly long time for me to stop automatically doing the female footwork, which I suppose is a good thing coz it means I have muscle memory for the footwork. But then in intermediate I went back to being a woman and it felt very strange. And it was weird that it felt weird. I've been doing the woman's part for three months and the man's for two hours, how exactly was it so difficult? 

The wind is howling outside again. If I won the lottery I would buy this flat and install some flipping double glazing. Also carpets.

And finally, I really, really need some serious sleep.

xXx

Thinking, always thinking

So far no sign of the gentleman I met at Daft Friday. But now I think about it, I'm not entirely sure I want to find him again. What if it turns out he smokes, or chews with his mouth open, or swears every second word? I think it's much safer to just keep him as a happy memory in my head, to pull out whenever I start to feel like the most unattractive person in the world.

xXx

Oh, dear

I don't know how you do it but you've got into my head again. A memory I'd completely forgotten until now - the first time I remember really seeing you.  

 It was a baptism or a dedication at that church near Mum and Dad's house, and you were recording it. I finally worked up the courage to walk in, then realised that I didn't recognise a single person there. And this was in the days before you gave me some confidence in myself, so I was on the brink of leaving when I saw you and your Mum across the room.  It was only when I got to the end of your row of seats that it occurred to me you might not remember who I was, and if you did you might not want me to sit with you. But then you looked at me and smiled.  

 I suppose it was inevitable I would end up liking you, when the first time you properly registered in my mind was as a place of safety. 

xXx

Smelling salts at the ready

I feel as feeble as an Austen character. I have a cold/cough but, as my new year's resolution is to lose weight, I decided to go for a walk. Now it wasn't a hike up a mountain or a 10 mile round trip, I just posted a letter, paid a cheque into the bank and came home. Then I had to have a lie down. Seriously. I mean, come on! I'm only 22 and it's only a cold, what the heck is going on?! Maybe I've watched one too many period dramas and it's starting to rub off on me. But I draw the line at swooning, there will be none of that going on no matter how ill I get!

That 2010 questionnaire thing I did was from another blog I read called 'think like a woman, act like a man'. I don't know how to do fiddly hyperlinks so here's the address http://rubyredslipper.blogspot.com

xXx

2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Salsa, moved to Glasgow, started a masters degree, lived with a Scottish person. What did I do for the rest of the year??

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any. This year's is to get back down to 11 stone.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A few people at Tesco

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
Scotland

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Richard Armitage! Oh, a serious answer. Erm a job, mostly.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

No specific dates, but I do have a few very vivid memories.

-The party for Ken and Sandy's golden wedding anniversary, because David and the new girlfriend were there. First time I've ever been so nervous I felt sick. Also because I totally rocked my little black dress with red heels :p

- My graduation, for obvious reasons

- My first thanksgiving, because I am COMPLETELY in love with sweet potato pie.

- The first time I saw Glasgow university. It actually took my breath away.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
It's a tie between passing undergrad and being accepted into one of the best unis for creative writing masters. Although I think that my merit for grade 4 piano deserves a mention

9. What was your biggest failure?
Weight gain! I'm also kind of ashamed that I couldn't be mature enough to speak to David at the anniversary do.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Aside from a surprisingly small number of colds, no. Oh, except that one time I fell over on the ice and landed on my hip that STILL hurts.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Can I say that I bought my masters? I mean, I had to pay money for it. Other than that I would say my '3 CDs for £10' offer. Simple things :p

12. Where did most of your money go?

To the University of Glasgow's finance department.

13. What did you get really excited about?
Moving to Glasgow, graduation, Christmas.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Hmm I don't think there is a song that I will ever hear and go, "oh yeah, 2010..." my brain just doesn't work like that

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:


- happier or sadder? Happier
- thinner or fatter? Fatter
- richer or poorer? Most decidedly poorer

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Work, so I could have a bit more money now. Meeting up with my friends, exercise, writing.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Shopping, so I could have a bit more money now. Worrying, obsessing over David, eating junk, sitting on my backside, gaining weight.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
At Mum and Dad's house, and also a little bit at Grandma's. Eating, mainly.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

North and South! North and South! The BBC are awesome at adaptations. It's closely followed by Merlin and Strictly Come Dancing. Yes, I'm sad.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Pride and Prejudice, always. Erm I don't think I read any books that came out in 2010.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Most of the Eclipse soundtrack, and Jacob's theme. Howard Shore is a genius! Also a lot of Rihanna's new songs.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Avatar! Also Eclipse, Sherlock Holmes and Tron. Harry Potter was pretty good too.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 22 and I honestly can't remember what I did. But I'm sure it was awesome...

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Getting down to my target weight instead of putting some back on ¬_¬

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

26. What kept you sane?
I'm sane? Well, that's good to know. Probably Pride and Prejudice and regular trips home to stock up my hug bank.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Going to a party full of strangers on your own could just have wonderful results, so don't be afraid. 

xXx