Beware the sniper within

When I was getting ready for the salsa club night yesterday, I looked in the mirror to see if my hair still looked okay and my brain went, "Well, it's not as bad as your face."

Ouch.

xXx

I'm a fraud

Well, I at least feel like one every time the words 'I'm a writer' come tripping out of my mouth. It takes my brain about a millisecond to point out that it can't actually remember the last time I sat down and just wrote something, and that I've only ever won one writing competition and that didn't have a prize, and that I can't even write in my blog regularly. Then this other voice chips in with something along the lines of "if you spent as much time writing as you did dancing you'd probably be published by now."  

 I don't actually think that voice is right, I would just be a lot further on with my novel, but it is making a good point about my priorities. I love salsa, it's the most fun I've had for a while and there are very few things that can make me smile as much as I do when dancing, but it's not what I want to be. I want to be a writer. A proper writer who wins competitions and has books published and actually earns a bit of money from it. But that's not going to happen unless I sort myself out and actually do some writing!

It's time to give myself a kick up the backside, stop faffing about on facebook and get on with it. Off I go!

Oh wait... I need to make some biscuits for housegroup tonight. But after that I will write like I've never written before!

xXx

Yikes

So yesterday I saw my backside for the first time, what an eye-opening experience. I mean I've kind of seen it before; glimpses of it as I walk past shop windows and I usually do some weird craning motion when I try new clothes on to see if it looks okay, but the positioning of my friend's bathroom mirror was absolutely perfect to give me a full, colour, HD view of it. My word. I'm still a wee bit traumatised. I always knew it was too big, I just didn't quite realise the exact proportion of big-ness.

 The only thing stopping me having a ginormous breakdown right now is the fact that I lost two pounds over the weekend. Not a huge amount I know, but it's more than I've managed to shift in the last month so I'm incredibly happy about it. Hopefully it'll be just the boost I need to get off my (incredibly large) backside, go to the gym and carry on losing weight.

  On another self-improvement note, I've become absolutely sick of listening to people reel off the list of languages they can speak before turning to me and going "so what can you speak?" and every single time I feel like the dumbest idiot ever when I have to go "only English."  So I've got myself some Spanish-learning software and I've already made a start. It's such a long time since I tried to learn any language so I'm not sure how well it's going to work, but I at least want to try. So far I can say; good morning; good evening; how are you?; I'm fine, and you?; and I'm sorry.

Anyway, my sister is coming for a visit quite early tomorrow so I'd better go to bed in a minute.  Look at that, a whole post without one mention of salsa! Oh wait....

xXx

Boteco

Just a quick update before I have to leg it to my tutorial.

So I ended up  going to the salsa club (I never really doubted that I would) and it was pretty good. I only got asked to dance a few times, but my theory is that it's because I'm new and they don't know if I'm worth dancing with yet. Next time I think I'm just gonna have to man up and ask them first so I can prove that I am worth dancing with. The thing is, it didn't really matter that I wasn't dancing much because the atmosphere was brilliant and it was enough to just sit there watching other people dancing and enjoying it. I had a really, really good time. 

 Then when it finished a bunch of us walked home together. It was an hour walk but it didn't feel anywhere near that long because it was so much fun being with everyone, and I had a long chat about books with the sexy salsa instructor's girlfriend. I feel like I should think of a different name for him now I know he's got a girlfriend. It's not really right calling him sexy. Hmm, I shall think about it.

xXx

Gutteeeeed!

So I got to do a sexy bachata dance with my favourite Scottish instructor this week.  Right before I found out he's got a girlfriend.  The strange thing is, now I think about it I'm actually less gutted about this than I was last week about not getting to dance with him. I think the reasons for this are:

1 - I made friends with his girlfriend (she's just too nice to hate). 

2 - After yesterday I feel more like he and I are friends, instead of just two people who do salsa.

3 - I never really expected him to like me anyway.

I'm considering taking them up on the offer of going to a salsa club on Wednesday. At the moment it's fairly likely that I will do it because I really want to go to a salsa club, and it would be fun to spend some time socialising with non-uni people. Wonderful as the uni people are, you just can't spend all your time with one lot of people. That's why I'm so excited about the fact that I have visitors coming this week! Two friends coming all the way up from Crewe for the weekend. I can't wait :D

xXx

Moving on

I think it's time to start looking for a different flat. 

A couple of nights ago I was lying in bed unable to get to sleep because the extractor fan in the bathroom was running and it makes the single most grating, irritating sound in the world. I couldn't think what Flatmate was doing for so long in the bathroom, but I figured it's none of my business and I didn't want to go and knock in case she was waxing her legs or something that you really don't want interrupting.  But then I lay there for another half an hour and the noise was still going. I decided that as I wasn't going to get to sleep any time soon I would go and get a drink. So I went out of my room and saw that Flatmate wasn't in the bathroom at all, she had just left the light on and the fan running.  I switched it off and tried very hard not to slam my door on the way back into my room, because it was fine, I could go to sleep now.  But the second I got into bed, she switched her hair dryer on.

And last night I didn't get in til after midnight and I tried my absolute hardest to be quiet so I didn't disturb her. Then at 7.30 this morning I was woken up by the sound of plates and bowls being slammed onto the side in the kitchen. I just do not understand how someone so small can be so completely incapable of doing anything quietly!

xXx