Why I dislike my job #1

New Acquaintance 1: So what do you do for a living?

New Acquaintance 2: I work for a charity. We help people with disabilities get back into work. 
*cue half-hour long monologue about how horrendously difficult but terribly rewarding her job is* 
NA2: What do you do?

NA1: I'm an Occupational Therapist in a hospital. I deal mostly with terminally ill patients and those with addictions.

NA2: Wow, that must be so tough.

NA1: Well yes but it's worth it, you know? Seeing the changes in people as you get to know them better. And what do you do?

Me: I do admin....in a call centre.

NA1: Oh. Right.

*awkward silence*

Curses

It is a children's story competition. Rats.

Thinking about it, I quite like the story I've written and don't really want to change it. So I'm going to recycle Jack and his crazy modern family into a whole new story, just for those not yet old enough to know what hormones are.

The only problem is I have absolutely no plot ideas, and a bake sale on Friday for which I am providing everything. This story is not going to be written this week. For reals. But I suppose baking doesn't take a great deal of brain power so I can set that one bit of my mind to thinking up ideas in the background while I get on with trying to work out how to make and transport enough fairy cakes for 36 people. 

The human brain is a remarkable thing.

P.S. the bake sale is to raise money for my Race For Life this Sunday (shameless plug alert).

http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/hannahthorley-forgrandma

Time for a re-think

While skimming through the competitions on the Writing Magazine website I noticed one small phrase jump out of the modern family competition brief:

'Writing for children'

I do not remember that phrase being in the magazine brief, and I am going to double check the second I get home. Because if that phrase is in there, I have some serious rewriting to do.

Writing for children is so different to writing for adults. There has to be a point for the kids, a moral or lesson to take away from it. You can't just write any old rubbish and call it literary fiction. To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I can write for children. As far as I can remember I have never even tried to write for them, as it's far easier to target those at my mental age (17) so I know what they'll enjoy.

However, after the shambles that was my last attempt at competition-writing I'm going to give it a go anyway. It's definitely free entry so I have nothing to lose.

Who knows, maybe I'll discover that children's writing is actually my calling!

Sod's law

I was planning to enter a writing competition for which the brief was to write about someone who couldn't sleep. After too much thought I bashed out an attempt, which wasn't very good. Because the deadline was so close I decided to abandon the story as I wouldn't have time to properly proof and edit it even if I could fix it.

Deadline day arrived and I was feeling disappointed in myself. I had been so determined to finally enter a competition, but when it came down to it I just couldn't. Then while I was walking home from work I had a sudden flash of inspiration - I could make the story work! And the deadline was midnight so I could still submit in time!

I rushed home, turned my laptop on...and remembered that the story was only saved on my work computer.

Lesson learned: save your work EVERYWHERE.

What's in a name?

I suck at creating titles for my work. Occasionally it just jumps out at me, like it did for my assignment The Meaning of Freedom. But mostly I just sit with the story in front of me, staring at it as though I can force it to give me its name, before giving in and calling it something so unimaginative I'm almost ashamed of myself.

The story about 7-year-old Jack and his modern family is written, hooray! Now I have to name it, not so hooray.  I am starting to wonder if my poor titles affected my marks on my degree, and if they've ever stopped me winning a competition.

How do you even fix that? Is there a 'Title Writing' course out there? I wouldn't be surprised, actually. 

Well I've got at least a month to think about it so maybe something will come to me.

Competition

Yesterday I discovered a short story competition with a prize of £10,000.
Yes, you did read that right. No, I did not accidentally add one too many noughts. It's ten thousand for a maximum of 2,500 words. 

More details here: http://www.manchesterwritingcompetition.co.uk/

There's a part of my brain that thinks a story capable of winning so much money must be epic, and there's no way I can write anything £10,000 good.   There's another part of my brain that's still, almost 24 hours later, going "ten thousand? Ten thousand?? That's just...ten thousand?"  Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I suddenly had that much money. 
And there's that voice again saying I don't need to worry what I would do because I could never write anything good enough.

But I am choosing to ignore that voice. My lovely boyfriend has offered to pay the £17 entry fee for me (apparently it makes him happy when I write) so I have absolutely nothing to lose. I'm going for it!

I'm also going for a slightly less lucrative writing competition in the writing magazine I subscribe to. This month's competition is to write about 7-year-old Jack and his 'modern day' family.  As soon as I read the brief I had an idea for my story, which hasn't happened for a good long while so I'm confident that it will turn out well. Or at least better than my novel.
The prize for this one is only £100 (only!!) but it's free to enter so I may as well.

It's working. I'm starting to feel like a writer again.

(Not really) a book review

I love any and all mythology. Greek, Norse, Celtic, whatever; I can never get enough of it.

Now, you may have noticed in my little side bar that I’m reading a book called Highland Folk Tales. It's quite a lengthy collection of myths, legends and tales from the Scottish Highlands. And I hate it.

Some of the stories aren’t even legends.  Take for example the story of Angie and the Calf, which I will now summarise in a few sentences.

Angie and his Dad own one cow and every year the Dad goes across the water to sell the calf so they can pay the rent for another year. One day Angie is trusted to take the calf and sell it. He does so but on the way home he drinks all the money. The next year his Dad says they’re not selling the calf; they’re going to eat it as Angie drank the last one.

That’s it.  It’s not even a good story.

The only positive thing I can say is that reading the book has been enlightening. I have learned what it is that I love so much about mythology. Put simply, it’s an escape. I love being immersed in a fantastical world where pretty much anything can (and will) happen.

And I know this because Highland Folk Tales is an attempt to be a sort of map book of myths. Chapters start off with phrases like ‘The road from Torridon leads to Kinlochewe, where it meets the A832 which runs north-west along the side of Loch Maree’ 

Instantly all suspension of disbelief is gone. I can’t imagine a story involving fairies with the A832 running through the middle of my brain! The juxtaposition of goblins and motorways is too jarring for me. I can’t escape into it so I’m not enjoying it. 

My only hope is that there will be just one story hidden in there which will spark my imagination the way mythology usually does.

Ideas

This may be entirely wrong, but I feel that there is more money to be made from writing articles rather than short stories.  

I can only name a few magazines that will pay for short stories (but if anyone can name some more I'll gladly take note) and, although being published without pay will look good on my CV, I kind of need to get some money back for my time. Of course, there are probably thousands of short story competitions, but the probability of actually gaining any money from them is not that great. 

There are definitely thousands of magazines, journals, newspapers and the like out there. And I don't even have to pay to submit my pieces to them. So I think this is the side I'm going to focus on most with my spare day.

So, what can I write articles about?

- salsa dancing
- Ceroc dancing
- reading
- writing
- having an 'at risk' job
- baking
- learning to cook healthier
- weight loss
- personal trainers
- being new to running
- getting slightly better at running
- kettlebells
- gluten free, dairy free eating 
- Glasgow
- Crewe
- being on Jobseekers Allowance
- being kicked out of your place of residence (twice...)
- moving house
- finally settling down
- losing someone you love to cancer
- losing someone you love for no apparent reason
- fundraising for charity
- living away from your family
- public transport
- sharing a flat with a European 
- sharing a flat with a cranky distant relative
- making greetings cards
- embroidery and cross stitch
- the desire but complete inability to modify your own clothes

That should keep me going for a wee while.

Serendipity

I did not lose my job - hooray! Instead the other Admin girl and I have been cut down to 4 days per week instead of 5. 

Honestly, now I'm over the shock and relief of it all I'm actually quite looking forward to that spare day. After spending an hour with a calculator, two spreadsheets and my internet bank account I've worked out that I can still survive on 4 day's pay, so I don't need to spend that free day frantically applying for any and all jobs. I could write instead.

This might be the perfect opportunity for me to really make a go of a writing career. I would have one whole day every week with the flat to myself when my flatmate goes to her job; no work to go to, nobody to distract me (aside from myself) and not a great deal to do other than write.  

I've already set part of my brain to thinking up stories and articles I could write, and if I keep running out of jobs to do at work (highly likely) I could even begin writing some of them to get a headstart.


Perhaps this incredibly stressful job-at-risk period is actually one of the best things to happen to me.