Little stones

CU was amazing last night. Well, the worship didn't go great as they picked some pretty obscure songs and the way the projector's set up meant that we couldn't see the first or last lines of the verses. But the talk was brilliant. It was looking at Ephesians 4 and 5 and the challenge that it sets for Christians. 

  

  First of all it was incredibly helpful because it cleared up a few points that I've never been sure about, like the drink issue. I could never work it out - Jesus drank, the first miracle was making wine and there's even a verse that says 'drink wine because it's good for your heart', but then the Bible says such a lot that drunkenness is a sin. The speaker cleared it up in a couple of sentences. Ephesians says that we are supposed to live as God's light in the world and to be holy, so drinking only becomes a sin when it affects our holiness. So if you're starting to say mean things or to consider doing things you never would when you're sober then you've gone too far. How simple it that!

 It highlighted a lot of things in my life that I hadn't even noticed, like how angry I get. You'd think that'd be kind of hard to miss, but in my whole life I'd say I haven't shouted more than 10 times so I thought of myself as a non-angry person. I didn't really register the absolutely furious thoughts that go through my head on an almost daily basis. Then there was the time I was washing up and two cups got stuck together and I got so angry I threw them into the sink and broke a plate. How ridiculous does that sound - I was angry with some cups. 

 There's also not forgiving people. The speaker said if you've been holding onto something for more than 6 months then it's a problem. And I realised I was still holding something from my 21st birthday, something from 2007 and something from pretty much the first time I was aware that parents could treat their children differently.

 But this is the amazing thing; we prayed for freedom from these things we couldn't stop doing and couldn't let go of and I got a feeling in my chest, a physical feeling like little stones were being lifted out of my heart. They were only small but there were so many of them that I'd been weighed down and when they were all gone I felt incredible. I'm not saying I've forgotten what hurt me in the first place, but it's not about that. It's about getting rid of all the revenge-type feelings inside that weren't hurting anyone but me. 

 I feel so much better :)

xXx