Ping

I've always preferred listening to other people's conversations to taking part in them. But the last couple of days I've realised that it goes a bit deeper than just lack of conversational skills. I went to see Aunty Edie earlier this week because I was feeling quite low and discouraged and a little bit lost. I think the word is weary. I got there and we started chatting about uni and such, and I instantly felt a bit better. But then Aunty Muriel turned up (I never knew I had so much family up here) and when the two of them got talking it was phenomenal; I only understood about two words in ten! I didn't get to say more than three sentences between then and the time I left, but when I did leave I realised I felt a hundred times better than I did when I arrived.

 So I started to wonder. Maybe I don't just like listening to other people talk, maybe I need it. I got chance to test the theory at house group last night. It got to the end and we were all chatting away, then the person I was talking to got up to get ready to leave so I was sitting on my own. I looked round at everyone talking and I thought I would feel left out, but I didn't. It felt good to be in this room full of conversation that I didn't have to put anything into. It's like conversation is the electricity that recharges my batteries.

 Now I kind of want to experiment with it, just sit in a cafe or pub and see what effect the conversation has on me, see if it only works with people I know.  It's kind of strange to get all the way to 22 and only just realise something like this. It seems this year is a year of discovery.

xXx